Season 1

-Guarding the pee (skiing equipment)

-intro

-buying condoms

-Glenn Humplik is hiding

-Tom talks with some striking Ontario teachers.

-The clam digger skiff

-Gas engine in the mall

-blind date with David bowie

-interview with Aliea Hewert from express connections-

-NYPD GREEN (greasy cop)

-bowling trophy (your the champ!)

-band: local rabbits

-prime minister can you sign my balls

-intro

-everyone likes fights (magneto vs. wolverine)

-the southpole crew

-meat vs. mug

-the bag lady (time to clean the city)

-hugs

-interview with the butcher (lambs head fun) Russell Chuadary

-Ashley Maciassac (im Ashley Friggin Macissac)

-pump it up ya'll (hand held rap)

-Toms Grandma, and the infamous briefcase of Dereks

-band: Bloody Chickets

-beach tanning (know what im saying)

-intro

-oxymen girls are pretty

-someone took Glenn's watch (but I have a watch motch motch motch)

-hugs

-clockwork orange (hustlin dude)

-interview with the guy from the "Waffle house"

-Scubahood

-dirty pictures (Glenn is big in the gay community)

-buying condoms part 2

-band: This minor tremble

-do ya think IM sexy?

-intro -interview with the spanish sailor

-Glenn shows his ass (Money Bags Humplik) + Tom sings "Children"

-this is a message from Don Carleon! (cow head at 3am)

-Where are you going. aka: Tom vs. Old man!

-Lord Sheffield razor guest. Shaving Toms Legs

-climbing palm trees in the sun

-band: Hot Piss

-hollywood blvd. bums talk with Tom

-intro

-the Canterbury tales

-fire in parents bed at 3am

-toms parents gueststar, and fire extinguish tom and Glenn

-tom raps with some sisters. They think he is french, Italian, or polish. But he is not jewish.

-fishing for the vacuum shark

-vandex guest.. tom sniffs it and goes ballistic

-have no fear, burning feet man is here

-rappin with yet another sister.. tom dances free style

-cow brain boat

-band: Scratching post

-Tom solves the OJ simpson murder mystery

-intro

-hockey guy

-tom with the old man makeup. Dave Allston is ejected and banned from the show (good)

-pissed off scientist

-Phil giroux's bachelor tips. use paper plates and plastic bowls. bed lots of women. make tom laugh.. etc

-tom neilson, guest.. whipping onions at the tom green/brad pitt painting on the wall

-NYPD GREEN : ballistics... "now eat my ass!"

-3am radio easter egg hunt at Toms parents house

-toms grandmother gives tongue brushing techniques

-kiki and the tv cans on the trees

-band: salmonblaster

-Tom, Derek, and Ray run outta gas in mexico. tom does impressions for people waiting for the gas

-intro

-Jimmy cab, makes replica of earth. sends man hole covers around the world

-Glenn gives instructions for tom to be funny. tom sprays food and sauce on the audience..chaos

-big ben

-ufo's are real. Tom is visited by the "raelien" cult

-guest Joanne, the nail gun expert

-a date with god

Glenn Humplik: the sucker. Glenn is forced to by a young girl radiohead tickets, and in return tom gets him a 'sucker' tshirt

-tom interrupts an Elvis fan concert.. dances and gets people pissed

-band: short fall

-tom plays a bus driver.. who makes a young boy walk past his stop

-intro

-breadheads return: tom hassles people who he thinks are is mommy. "are you my mother"

-Foster Children Tug of war. Alimotou

-Glenn's day of justice, toms revenge

-tom the movie usher

-guest: some relationship expert

-condom buyer, with the little engine

-tom in drag. swimming with fish and sharks in the ocean

-toms new joke.. sidewalk headbanging

-band: starling

-tom has fun at the Hollywood sign, but its raining

-dancing man, and tom

-intro

-fun with science, the urinating scientist

-tic tac toe with the audience, yelling at them "you stupid dummy"

-rappin with the wheelchair brother in Chicago, talking about cheese

-hockey guy

-foreign cultures, with your host: Jim Cab

-guest: ceiling fan expert

-the duster

-the apology (skinny pig): with derek and tom, apologizing for being filthy liars

-band: spinecracker

-dennis woodruff, the struggling actor

-intro

-tom fulfills a dream: meeting Alex trebek

-a game: stinky whiskey buttons with the audience

-rappin with the wheelchair brother in Chicago, talking about batteries

-Derek Harvies impounded car is found in Kingston, and he is almost arrested for hopping a fence

-guest: soap dispenser expert

-hip hop woman (tom in drag.. kicks it fresh)

-ceiling fan: sending hotdogs around the world

-driving with a cab driver, who is a masturbation expert

-band: boywonder

-Hollywood gay old man

-intro

-the power of the camera: the drunk imbecile that tom and Phil met in a bar. Who is tied up, and covered with milk

-guest: car starter expert. Tom covers his face with tinfoil and screams at him

-Humplik: an astronaut in training

-tom walks with a swagger

-Phil's pickup techniques.. trying to get tom a hug and kiss, phil practically humps a chick

-cookin a live lobster with Glenn and tom

-NYPD GREEN : the smallest father. "your father is dead asshole"

-harassing a nice pakistani man. "say you love the tom green show" "i dove de domb gren shiew"

-band: bertha does moosejaw

-toms eyes and talking with ray, as credits roll

-rotting head cartoon guy.. Eagle ate his brain

-intro

-fashion police, with tom, some girl, and toms ex

-tom calls audience members house, and tells their parents that he is screwing their daughter, doing cocaine, etc

-3am , the slut mobile

-mexican boner in toms pants

-pro fur lady

-mc face, video for "slaughta ya oughta"

-standup comedy loser

-celebrity watching: jean claude vandamme, vanilla ice, hitler, and Leslie neilson

-fun with street musicians

-band: sully

-shock at the marilyn manson concert

-intro

-come blow with me

-Guest: Jean-marc from Ritchies welding

-Searching Mexico for Toms cross dressing brother

-cartoon guy and his bag of eyes

-Hip Hop camping

-Breaking Wayne Gretzkys records

-Fun Game: Hair + Vaseline game with audience girl Jody

-Tom Green Land

-the philophser

-NYPD GREEN: Under Desk

-band: brandon walsh