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August 29, 2005

Season 13

01. Show #2414

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August 29, 2005

02. Show #2415

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August 30, 2005

03. Show #2416

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August 31, 2005

04. Show #2417

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September 1, 2005

05. Show #2418

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September 2, 2005

06. Show #2419

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September 5, 2005

07. Show #2420

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September 6, 2005

08. Show #2421

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September 7, 2005

09. Show #2422

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September 8, 2005

10. Show #2423

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September 9, 2005

11. Show #2424

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September 12, 2005

12. Show #2425

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September 13, 2005

13. Show #2426

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September 14, 2005

14. Show #2427

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September 15, 2005

15. Show #2428

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September 16, 2005

16. Show #2429

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September 19, 2005

17. Show #2430

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September 20, 2005

18. Show #2431

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September 21, 2005

19. Show #2432

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September 22, 2005

20. Show #2433

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September 23, 2005

21. Show #2434

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October 3, 2005

22. Show #2435

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October 4, 2005

23. Show #2436

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October 5, 2005

24. Show #2437

Jon Stewart and singer David Gray are tonight's guests.

October 6, 2005

25. Show #2438

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October 7, 2005

26. Show #2439

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October 10, 2005

27. Show #2440

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October 11, 2005

28. Show #2441

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October 12, 2005

29. Show #2442

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October 13, 2005

30. Show #2443

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October 14, 2005

31. Show #2444

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October 17, 2005

32. Show #2445

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October 18, 2005

33. Show #2446

The Rock and 13-year-old piano prodigy Kit Armstrong appear on tonights show.

October 19, 2005

34. Show #2447

Houston Astros pitcher (and 2006 NLCS MVP) Roy Oswalt presents the Top Ten; with a little help from Dave, Madonna rides a horse for the first time since a much-publicized incident two months earlier; Melissa Etheridge performs "I Run For Life."

October 20, 2005

35. Show #2448

Gavin MacLeod (in full Captain Steubing regalia) makes a few football prognostications; Al Franken promotes his new book; Al Green performs "Everything's Okay."

October 21, 2005

36. Show #2449

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October 24, 2005

37. Show #2450

Uma Thurman and Rachel Ray appear on tonights show.

October 25, 2005

38. Show #2451

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October 26, 2005

39. Show #2452

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November 3, 2005

40. Show #2453

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November 4, 2005

41. Jennifer Aniston, 50 Cent

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November 7, 2005

42. Matthew Broderick, Teri Garr

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November 8, 2005

43. Kelly Ripa, Hilary Duff

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November 9, 2005

44. Steve Martin, the Teutul family from "American Chopper"

During "Audience Show & Tell," Dave meets a couple of film extras; Michael Sessions (the 18-year-old mayor of Hillside, Michigan) presents the Top Ten; Steve Martin sings with a choir and rides a motorcycle built by the Teutel boys.

November 10, 2005

45. Ted Koppel, Jim Gaffigan, Trey Anastasio

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November 11, 2005

46. Kid scientists, John Cusack

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November 14, 2005

47. Joaquin Phoenix, Trisha Yearwood

Over at Hello Deli, a lady from Des Moines, Iowa correctly guesses that Rupert is singing a Toby Keith song; Joaquin Phoenix promotes Walk The Line; Trisha Yearwood performed "Trying to Love You."

November 15, 2005

48. Ellen DeGeneres, Brad Paisley

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November 16, 2005

49. Howard Stern, Pharrell Williams

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November 17, 2005

50. Sen. John McCain, Carla Gugino

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November 18, 2005

51. George Clooney, Ashlee Simpson

Dave shocks the audience with the news that Oprah Winfrey will be a guest on the show a week from Thursday; Biff undergoes Lasek eye surgery; George Clooney promotes "Syriana."

November 21, 2005

52. Dennis Quaid, Donovan McNabb

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November 22, 2005

53. Stupid Pet Tricks, Claire Danes, Big Boi

President Bush drops by the theater but somehow gets himself locked out; in honor of Oprah's appearance next week, Dave gives everyone in the audience free vodka and Lipitor; throughout the night, Professor Robert Mundell tells Rodney Dangerfield jokes; Alan abruptly starts singing The Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps."

November 23, 2005

54. Megan Mullally, John Mayer Trio

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November 24, 2005

55. John Malkovich, NASCAR Nextel Cup winner, Jim Gaffigan

Johnny Dark tries to sell Dave a 18-pound lobster; John Malkovich shares an amusing anecdote about his mother; race-car driver Tony Stewart plays "Joe Gibbs or Monkey?"

November 25, 2005

56. Stupid Human Tricks, Amanda Peet

Dave orders some decaf coffee from Starbucks; Dave reveals the giant Oprah photo in the backdrop again, then puts a much smaller photo of Regis right next to it; Amanda Peet promotes Syriana; The Darkness perform "Is It Just Me?"

November 28, 2005

57. Regis Philbin, Colin Hanks

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November 29, 2005

58. Charlize Theron, Maureen Dowd

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November 30, 2005

59. Oprah Winfrey, Bonnie Raitt

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December 1, 2005

60. Rodeo champion Billy Etbauer

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December 2, 2005

61. Jack Black, Reggie Bush, Sinead O'Connor

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December 12, 2005

62. Sarah Jessica Parker, John Witherspoon

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December 13, 2005

63. Stephen Colbert, Aqualung

Dave participates in a Holiday toy demonstration; Biff tells "It's so cold..." jokes; Aqualung performs "Brighter Than Sunshine."

December 14, 2005

64. Alec Baldwin, Shakira

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December 15, 2005

65. Dr. Phil McGraw, Bill Scheft

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December 16, 2005

66. Jim Carrey, We Are Scientists

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December 19, 2005

67. Bonnie Hunt, Stephen A. Smith

Tonights guests include Bonnie Hunt and Stephen A. Smith.

December 20, 2005

68. Nathan Lane, Tom Dreesen

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December 21, 2005

69. Jamie Foxx, Andy Kindler

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December 22, 2005

70. Rosie Perez, Jay Thomas, Darlene Love

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December 23, 2005

71. Heather Graham, Fall Out Boy

Dave explains how he ordered Sue Hum to make a cupcake costume just for heck of it; Biff reads a movie review from the newspaper; Heather Graham promotes her new sitcom; Fall Out Boy performs "Dance, Dance."

January 2, 2006

72. Bill O'Reilly, Eric Bana

Tonights guests include Bill O'Reilly and Eric Bana.

January 3, 2006

73. Pierce Brosnan, Marv Albert

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January 4, 2006

74. Felicity Huffman, David Rakoff, Common

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January 5, 2006

75. Amy Sedaris, Dennis Regan, the Temptations

Johnny Dark "celebrates" 39 years as a CBS page; Alan makes predictions for 2006; The Temptations perform "My Girl."

January 6, 2006

76. Albert Brooks, Kristin Cavallari

The apparent theme of the night is "Love Train"; Albert Brooks sings "Thanks to the Memories" believing that Dave is retiring; "Laguna Beach" star Kristen Cavallari promotes her new reality show.

January 9, 2006

77. Scarlett Johannsen, Tiki Barber, Imogen Heap

Dave demands that the O'Jays perform "Love Train" on the show; Alan criticizes "Dancing with the Stars," then starts prancing around in a gold shirt; Scarlett Johansson (in her first appearance on the show in eight years) promotes Match Point.

January 10, 2006

78. Queen Latifah, Bob Sarlatte

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January 11, 2006

79. Kiefer Sutherland, Alicia Keys, Andy Samberg

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January 12, 2006

80. Tom Cavanagh, Jake Johannsen

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January 13, 2006

81. Martin Lawrence, Kari Byron, Matisyahu

Dave laments the Colts' playoff loss and teases with retirement again; Alan's alter ego "Fat Momma Kalter" storms out of the theater; Matisyahu performs "King Without a Crown."

January 16, 2006

82. Tatum O'Neal, Jeff MacGregor

Dave wears the skin of a roasted chicken on his head; Rupert and the models are subject to a pizza taste test; "Is This Anything?" is revived to Dave's delight; "Leyan Lo" (the new world record-holder for solving a Rubik's Cube) fails to beat his personal best and melts down onstage.

January 17, 2006

83. Kate Beckinsale, Bob Saget

Tonights guests include Kate Beckinsale and Bob Saget.

January 18, 2006

84. Cheryl Hines, Anna Nalick, Mike Vanderjagt

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January 19, 2006

85. Charles Grodin, Jordana Brewster

A cop from New Jersey pleads the fifth on "Know Your Current Events"; Johnny Dark comments on Dave's heart; Charles Grodin defends his performance in the 1976 remake of King Kong.

January 20, 2006

86. Anthony Hopkins

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January 23, 2006

87. Bernie Mac, Beth Orton

Dave celebrates 2,500 shows at CBS with "Staffer Memories"; a recent graduate from Penn State is invited to ride a taxi pantsless; Dave and Emma Thompson instigate a pie fight.

January 24, 2006

88. Mischa Barton, Jeff Altman, Wicked Wisdom

Esteban sits in with the band; Jeff Altman shares an amusing story about Johnny Carson; Wicked Wisdom (a band with Jada Pinkett-Smith on lead vocals) performs "Something Inside of Me."

January 25, 2006

89. Tommy Lee Jones, Anthony Hamilton

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February 2, 2006

90. P Diddy, Train

Paul does his "Carnac" homage again during "Stump The Band"; Olympic snowboarder Seth Wescott presents the Top Ten; Pat Farmer drops stale chips and dip onto 53rd Street; Train performed "Cab."

February 3, 2006

91. Harrison Ford, Michael Bublé

Comedian Andy Kindler reports from Super Bowl XL; Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger gets his beard shaved off by Dave and an audience member; Harrison Ford announces that he's in "a bubble of giddiness."

February 6, 2006

92. Beyonce Knowles, Stephen A. Smith

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February 7, 2006

93. Rachel Weisz, Beastie Boys

Biff pretends to report from the Grammys; "Stupid Human Tricks" includes a woman who whistles the theme from The Andy Griffith Show with her toes; The Beastie Boys perform "So What'cha Want" with several audience members holding handheld camcorders.

February 8, 2006

94. Senator John McCain, Heidi Klum

Tonights guests include Senator John McCain and Heidi Klum.

February 9, 2006

95. Martha Stewart, Michael Bublé

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February 10, 2006

96. Geena Davis, INXS

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February 13, 2006

97. Julianne Moore, Randy Jackson, The O'Jays

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February 14, 2006

98. Charles Barkley, Catherine Keener

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February 15, 2006

99. Jimmy Fallon, Hannah Teter, She Wants Revenge

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February 16, 2006

100. Donald Trump, Bill Burr

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February 17, 2006

101. Marcia Cross, Daytona 500 Winner

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February 20, 2006

102. Matthew Fox, Brian Regan, Broadway's Jersey Boys

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February 21, 2006

103. Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Teutuls

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February 22, 2006

104. Amanda Peet, Jack Hanna

Amanda Peet and Jack Hanna are featured guests plus Peter Griffin of Family Guy presents the Top Ten!

February 23, 2006

105. Hugh Laurie, Ne-Yo

Tonights guests include Hugh Laurie and Ne-Yo.

February 24, 2006

106. Bruce Willis, The Strokes

Tonights guests include Bruce Willis and The Strokes.

February 27, 2006

107. Barbara Walters, Tyler James Williams

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February 28, 2006

108. Sarah Jessica Parker

Declaring that there are "more monkeys than ever," Dave meets the 2006 monkey-calling champions; Chef Giada De Laurentiis makes veal scallops for Dave and Sarah Jessica Parker (but not Paul).

March 1, 2006

109. Harry Connick Jr., Clap Your Hands Say Yeah

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March 2, 2006

110. Ricky Gervais, The Subways

Johnny Dark gives a tour of the theater; "Will It Float?" travels to Trump Tower; Ricky Gervais promotes his new children's book; The Subways perform "Rock and Roll Queen."

March 3, 2006

111. Emma Thompson, Frank Caliendo, Beth Orton

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March 6, 2006

112. Howard Stern, Carrie Underwood

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March 13, 2006

113. Natalie Portman, Al Franken

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March 14, 2006

114. Vin Diesel, Trey Parker & Matt Stone

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March 15, 2006

115. Denzel Washington, Diablo Cody

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March 20, 2006

116. Marcia Cross, Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins

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March 21, 2006

117. David Spade, Teddy Geiger

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March 22, 2006

118. Sharon Stone, Mark Fainaru-Wada, Lance Williams

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March 27, 2006

119. Ray Romano, Willie Nelson

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March 28, 2006

120. Josh Hartnett, Chris Elliott, Yeah Yeah Yeahs

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March 29, 2006

121. Antonio Banderas, Patrice Oneal, Flaming Lips

Dave promises a box of Explod-O-Pop popcorn to every member of the audience; Liza Minnelli performs "I'm Glad I'm Not Young Anymore" to celebrate her 60th birthday; Al Lubel riffs on voting and anti-depressents.

March 30, 2006

122. Liza Minnelli, Al Lubel

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March 31, 2006

123. Billy Crystal, Johnny Damon

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April 10, 2006

124. Geena Davis, Aaron Eckhart, Sonya Kitchell

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April 11, 2006

125. Jason Randal, Mandy Moore, Ben Harper

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April 12, 2006

126. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Tyler Perry, Death Cab For Cutie

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April 13, 2006

127. Paul Rudd, Gretchen Mol, Mary J. Blige

Tonight's guests include Eva Longoria and Barry Sonnenfeld.

April 14, 2006

128. Eva Longoria, Barry Sonnenfeld

Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top sits in with the band; Dave, Tony, Rupert, and Alan have fun with sirens; Jane Fonda discusses her marriage to Ted Turner; Shooter Jennings performs "Gone to Carolina."

April 17, 2006

129. Jane Fonda, Shooter Jennings

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April 18, 2006

130. Craig Furguson, Alexis Bledel, Tom Russell

Dave sits down with fellow talk-show host Craig Furguson. He also talks with Gilmore Girls star Alexis Bledel, and Tom Russell.

April 19, 2006

131. Piedmont Bird Callers, Michael Douglas, Emmylou Harris, Mark Knopfler

Tonights guests include Keri Russell, Brian and Tina Miser and Jerry Lee Lewis.

April 27, 2006

132. Kerri Russell, Jerry Lee Lewis, Human Cannonball Team

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April 28, 2006

133. Tom Hanks, Kanye West

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May 1, 2006

134. Tom Cruise, Jamie Oliver

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May 2, 2006

135. Rosie Perez, Danica Patrick

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May 3, 2006

136. Julia Roberts, Pearl Jam

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May 4, 2006

137. Vince Vaughn, K.T. Tunstall

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May 5, 2006

138. Derek Jeter, Michelle Monghan, Barnum & Bailey Circus

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May 8, 2006

139. Kurt Russell, The Little Willies

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May 9, 2006

140. Jason Lee, Jack Hanna

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May 10, 2006

141. Teri Hatcher, Tom Dreesen, Michel Lauziere

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May 11, 2006

142. Edie Falco, Pete Correale, Van Hunt

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May 12, 2006

143. Kid Scientists, William Shatner, Angels & Airwaves

Dave orders a reluctant Rupert to eat at Ranch 1; "True Tales of the Late Show Interns" expose the dark underbelly of the show's goings-on backstage; Debra Messing discusses childrearing.

May 15, 2006

144. Debra Messing, Chris Russo

Dave previews some of the new TV shows premiring in the fall; Bruce Willis tries to hold his breath underwater for nine minutes; Goldfrapp performed "Lost Cause."

May 16, 2006

145. Bruce Willis, Goldfrapp

Tonights guests include Rebecca Romijn from "X-Men 3: The Last Stand" and The Eagles of Death Metal.

May 17, 2006

146. Stupid Pet Tricks, Rebecca Romijn, Eagles of Death Metal

Tonight's guests include Jennifer Garner from "Alias" and Mary Cheney (author of "Now It's My Turn").

May 18, 2006

147. Jennifer Garner, Harry Hill

Several staffers give advice to college graduates; Martha Stewart finally opens up to Dave about prison life, Criss Angel falls into a woodchipper and survives; the Dixie Chicks performed "Not Ready To Make Nice."

May 19, 2006

148. Martha Stewart, Dixie Chicks, Criss Angel

Dave sends Rupert into the nearby Jamba Juice; Martin Short sings the virtues of the NSA; Biff comments on the Barry Bonds controversy; James Blunt performed "High."

May 22, 2006

149. Martin Short, James Blunt

Dave reveals the hot new toys for Christmas (seven months early); Jennifer Aniston dodges questions about her relationship with Vince Vaughn; Rob Zombie performs "America Witch."

May 23, 2006

150. Jennifer Aniston, Rob Zombie

Several naval officers participate in "Stump the Band"; tonight's "Immigrant Success Stories" segment fails to give a through profile to Dr. Henry Kissinger; Dave and Jesse James discuss welding.

May 24, 2006

151. Halle Berry, Harold Perrineau, Jesse James

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May 25, 2006

152. Bill Maher, Rita Wilson

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May 26, 2006

153. Lindsay Lohan, Sam Hornish Jr.

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June 5, 2006

154. Bonnie Hunt, Elvis Costello, Allen Toussaint

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June 6, 2006

155. Kyra Sedgwick, Al Franken

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June 7, 2006

156. Meredith Vieira, Jeremy Piven, My Morning Jacket

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June 8, 2006

157. Michael Keaton, Wolfmother

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June 9, 2006

158. Paris Hilton, Will Shortz

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June 12, 2006

159. Tim Russert, Cat Power

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June 13, 2006

160. Stephen Colbert, Mark Cuban, Neko Case

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June 14, 2006

161. Sandra Bullock, Widespread Panic

Iraqi terrorist Abu Hamza Al-Muhajir is spotted in the audience; Robert Duvall discusses some of the movies he has appeared in and his wife�s family in Argentina; Sonic Youth performed "Incinerate."

June 15, 2006

162. Robert Duvall, Tommy Tiernan, Sonic Youth

Geoff Ogilvy, the winner of this years U.S. Open, reads tonights Top Ten List; Adam Sandler discusses fatherhood and a hilarious incident in a hotel room in Mexico; Julie Chen discusses being married to Les Moonves and the new series of "Big Brother."

June 16, 2006

163. Adam Sandler, Julie Chen

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June 19, 2006

164. Nicole Richie, Brandon Routh

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June 20, 2006

165. Dwyane Wade, Amy Sedaris, Morningwood

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June 21, 2006

166. Meryl Streep, Yellowcard

For the first time in several years, Dave asks Steph/Monty to imitate her ex-boyfriend's dancing abilities; Al Gore discusses global warming and the current state of American politics; Rock Kills Kid performed "Paralyzed."

June 22, 2006

167. Al Gore, Rock Kills Kid

Sue Hum walks towards a camera onstage for the sole purpose of applying lipstick; Kevin Spacey shares an amusing anecdote about Courtney Love and Peter O'Toole; The Streets perform "When You Wasn't Famous."

June 23, 2006

168. Kevin Spacey, The Streets

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June 26, 2006

169. Anne Hathaway, Jim Gaffigan, Dashboard Confessional

The Family Feud board is resurrected; Dave observes film footage of a monkey undergoing a root canal; Fred Willard tells a dirty joke; Martha Wainwright performed Leonard Cohen's "Tower of Song."

June 27, 2006

170. Robert Downey Jr., Fred Willard, Martha Wainwright

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June 28, 2006

171. Johnny Depp, Broken Social Scene

Dave shows a photo of The Doors in response to a pre-show audience question; Tom Brokaw plugs his new book; Paul Simon performs "Outrageous."

June 29, 2006

172. Tom Brokaw, Paul Simon

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June 30, 2006

173. John Witherspoon, The Fray

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July 10, 2006

174. Paul Reubens, Yunjin Kim, Nelly Furtado

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July 11, 2006

175. Denis Leary, New York Met David Wright, the Wreckers

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July 12, 2006

176. Luke Wilson, Band of Horses

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July 13, 2006

177. Anderson Cooper, Greg Fitzsimmons

Tonight's guests include Kate Hudson and Patrice O'Neal.

July 14, 2006

178. Kate Hudson, Patrice O'Neal

A man on the street showers himself under the Late Show Shower-Cam; in honor of her 85th birthday, Dorothy presents the Top Ten; Bryce Dallas Howard promotes "Lady in the Water."

July 17, 2006

179. Regis Philbin, Bryce Dallas Howard

Tonights guests include Uma Thurman and Morgan Spurlock.

July 18, 2006

180. Uma Thurman, Morgan Spurlock, egg catchers Brad Freeman and Patrick Breault

Tonight's guests include Martin Short and Pink.

July 19, 2006

181. Martin Short, Pink

Sue Hum asks Dave if he could make change for a twenty; the show is interrupted by a phony CBS Special Report; Donald Trump is escorted onstage by four Miss Universe contestants; the Sam Roberts Band performed "Bridge to Nowhere."

July 20, 2006

182. Donald Trump, Nick Griffin, Sam Roberts

Dave and Gerard discuss Christie Brinkley's divorce before the show; 2006 Tour de France winner "Floyd Landis" takes a victory lap around the theater; Shannon Eis and Dave goof around during a "New Summer Toys" segment; India.Arie performs "There's Hope."

July 21, 2006

183. Colin Farrell, India.Arie

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July 24, 2006

184. Greg Kinnear, reptile expert Dr. Darrel Frost, Tapes 'n Tapes

A short comedy bit involving Dave, Sue Hum, and a bowl of gazpacho is botched; Dave examines Scarlett Johansson's teeth; the Teutel Boys from "American Chopper" show off their newest souped-up cycle, the OCC Splitback.

July 25, 2006

185. Scarlett Johansson, Paul Teutul Jr. and Sr.

During "Stump the Band," an audience member completely forgets the title of his disputed tune; controversial cyclist "Floyd Landis" is beaten up by the NYPD; The Spinners perform "I'll Be Around" and "Mighty Love."

July 26, 2006

186. Johnny Depp, the Spinners

Dave reads out loud the lost letters of Albert Einstein; "Biff Henderson's 'Where Are They Now?'" looks at the late Buddy Ebsen; Tom Dreesen promotes his new one-man show and takes a few lighthearted jabs at his first wife.

July 27, 2006

187. Jamie Foxx, Tom Dreesen

No details

July 28, 2006

188. Samuel L. Jackson, Gnarls Barkley

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August 14, 2006

189. Hilary Duff, Jason Randal, Dirty Pretty Things

Tonights guests include Jessica Biel and Christina Aguilera.

August 15, 2006

190. Jessica Biel, Christina Aguilera

Throughout the night, a guy named Bob Zick stands over by the staircase and laughs at everything Dave says; Samuel L. Jackson stars in the much-hyped sequel "Snakes in a Deli"; elderly sock puppet expert Jack Fisette has a demonstration with Dave; Fatboy Slim performed "That Old Pail of Jeans."

August 16, 2006

191. Whoopi Goldberg, sock puppeteer Jack Fisett, Fatboy Slim

No details

August 17, 2006

192. Edward Norton, Greg Fitzsimmons

Dave and Steph/Monty play stickball out on 53rd Street; Julianna Margulies discusses overcoming her fear of snakes during a filming of a certain Samuel L. Jackson movie; stand-up comedian "Andy Sansone" bombs in his alleged network television debut; OutKast performed "Morris Brown."

August 18, 2006

193. Julianna Margulies, Andy Sansone, Outkast

"Raul Castro" fields questions for the audience; Chris Elliott auditions for the CBS soap "Guiding Light," Razorlight performed "America."

August 21, 2006

194. Chris Elliott, Rep. Nancy Pelosi, Razorlight

An audience member compares Dave to Alfred E. Neuman; Dave and Paul play "Let's Scare the Hell Out of Rupert"; Busta Rhymes performs "Touch It, I Love My B----, New York S---."

August 22, 2006

195. John McEnroe, Artie Lang, Busta Rhymes

No details

August 23, 2006

196. Mark Wahlberg, Ruth Regina, M. Ward

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August 24, 2006

197. Maggie Gyllenhaal, Albert Pujols

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August 25, 2006