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Season 12
September 29, 2013

Season 12

01. Finders Keepers

Peter is convinced that a restaurant placemat is a treasure map. Word quickly spreads about the alleged cache, sparking a city-wide search and turning the citizens of Quahog against each other.

22min
September 29, 2013

02. Vestigial Peter

After a vestigial twin grows out of Peter's neck, which he names Chip, he eventually starts realizing that people like Chip more than they like him, so Peter has him amputated. However, after Peter gets into trouble, he realizes he needs Chip more than ever.

22min
October 6, 2013

03. Quagmire's Quagmire

Quagmire dates a woman named Sonja, who is just as sexually active as he is, but things take a turn for the worse when she kidnaps him to be her sex slave, so Peter, Joe and Ida must search the seedy back alleys of Quahog to rescue him. In the meantime, Brian, Stewie and Rupert get involved in a most unusual love triangle.

22min
November 3, 2013

04. A Fistful of Meg

When Meg spills her lunch on the new kid at school, he makes plans to end her. Meanwhile, Peter keeps harassing Brian in the nude until it reaches the breaking point.

22min
November 10, 2013

05. Boopa-Dee Bappa-Dee

The Griffins go to Italy and are faced with annoying immigration laws after Peter destroys their passports.

22min
November 17, 2013

06. Life of Brian

Stewie and Brian travel back in time to 17th-century Jamestown and make too many close calls with changing history. Stewie decides to destroy his time machine, but comes to regret it when Brian dies after being hit by a car. Devastated by his death, the Griffin family goes out and adopts another dog from the pet store, Vinnie, who is quickly accepted by all the members of the Griffin family, other than Stewie, who can't get over the loss of Brian.

22min
November 24, 2013

07. Into Harmony's Way

When Peter and Quagmire discover that their singing voices create beautiful harmony together, they form a singing/songwriting team, in the vein of Simon and Garfunkel. However, tensions run high when fame gets to Peter’s head.

22min
December 8, 2013

08. Christmas Guy

When Carter Pewterschmidt cancels the annual Quahog Christmas carnival, because he hates the holiday, Peter must transform his father-in-law from a Scrooge into a hometown hero in order to salvage the event. Meanwhile, Stewie devises a master plan to get the one and only thing he wants for Christmas.

22min
December 15, 2013

09. Peter Problems

When Peter gets fired for crashing a forklift into a business meeting, Lois takes a job at the grocery store while Peter becomes a stay-at-home dad — which leads to poor bedroom performance.

22min
January 5, 2014

10. Grimm Job

From Grimm to Griffin, three classic fairy tales get a new Quahog spin, including "Jack and the Beanstalk," "Little Red Riding Hood" and "Cinderella."

22min
January 12, 2014

11. Brian's a Bad Father

Brian tries to use Dylan's television connections to further his career.

22min
January 26, 2014

12. Mom's the Word

When Peter's mother dies, he befriends her longtime pal Evelyn, who tries to seduce him. In the meantime, Stewie feels despair upon dealing with the realities of death.

22min
March 9, 2014

13. 3 Acts of God

Peter grows frustrated when players on opposing teams continue to thank God after defeating his beloved New England Patriots football team, so he and the guys embark on a global quest to find God and ask Him to stop interfering with the outcome of professional football games.

22min
March 16, 2014

14. Fresh Heir

Chris becomes the heir to Carter's fortune but refuses to accept the money; Peter desperately tries to keep the wealth in the family.

22min
March 23, 2014

15. Secondhand Spoke

Peter takes up smoking cigarettes, and is approached by Mr. Stone, an advertising executive who wants Peter to be the face of his anti-smoking campaign under the caveat that Peter continues to smoke. Meanwhile, Stewie helps Chris battle bullies at school.

22min
March 30, 2014

16. Herpe, the Love Sore

Brian gives Stewie an STD. Meanwhile, Peter and the guys fight back when another group claims their booth at The Drunken Clam.

22min
April 6, 2014

17. The Most Interesting Man in the World

When Peter takes Stewie to the park for some quality father-son time, he mistakenly takes the wrong baby home, prompting Lois to call him an idiot. Determined to prove to her that he's a responsible adult, Peter goes on a business trip to Chicago and returns as an intelligent, classy person.

22min
April 13, 2014

18. Baby Got Black

Chris is forbidden to see Jerome's daughter Pam, so when the kids run away together, Jerome and Peter must work together to find them.

22min
April 27, 2014

19. Meg Stinks!

Meg has fun partying with Peter when he takes her to a college for an interview. Brian must learn how to live in the wild when he gets sprayed by a skunk and is prohibited from entering the house.

22min
May 4, 2014

20. He's Bla-ack!

Cleveland returns to town, but is instantly banned from spending time with Peter when Lois and Donna get into a big fight over parenting.

22min
May 11, 2014

21. Chap Stewie

When Peter and Chris interrupt Stewie’s TV time, the angry baby goes back in time to break up Peter and Lois so he’s never conceived, but is shocked when he is reborn into a “Downton Abbey”-esque British household.

22min
May 18, 2014